Wakes Are Optional

Firstly, it’s important to note that if the family and close friends of the departed do not want to hold a separate wake, there is no requirement to do so. Wakes are completely optional as part of American culture, meaning it’s completely up to those closest to the deceased to make this decision. If the individual whose life is being celebrated wished for a private wake, most families tend to try and carry out this wish during their mourning phase.

It’s All Up to You

Down similar lines, every wake is unique and will go according to the wishes of those planning it. Some may host a grander wake, featuring food and drink for those attending and a longer celebration of the life of the individual who has passed. Others may look for a simpler occasion with a quick viewing or a prayer and little else.

In addition, the timing and length are completely up to you. Some chose to place the wake shortly before the funeral, while others may host it as a completely separate occasion.

Wakes Vs. Funerals

There are several general differences between wakes and funerals. For one, as we’ve noted, wakes are generally more intimate while a funeral is open to all who knew the departed. Wakes often have open caskets, and while some funerals do as well, there’s more of a balance between open and closed. In addition, wakes are generally more focused on appreciation of life, while funerals tend to be more about mourning.

Wake Attendance Etiquette

There are some very simple pieces of etiquette to observe if you’re attending a wake:

• Bring a card, but do not feel the need to bring a gift
• Dress in appropriate mourning clothing
• If there’s a guestbook, sign it and include your address for any thank-you notes
• Leave when the time feels right, or when you notice others beginning to do so

For more on wakes and their planning needs, or for information on any of our funeral plans, cremation options or other mortuary services, speak to the caring staff at McDougal Funeral Homes today.